I’ve been feeling anxious for the past few days at the realization that Lent, and this little experiment, is coming to an end. On Friday, Jen and I did our taxes. It appears we both owe again this year. Jen owes a little, I owe a lot. Not as much as last year, but a lot all the same. I thought I had been withholding the right amount, I even had the business manager calculate my anticipated taxes, I thought for sure this year I might be getting something back, but again I fell short. It was frustrating and set me in a bad mood for the rest of the evening. In a few short seconds we lost the money for the driveway repair, or the chairs for our dining table, or most definitely the scooter which I have successfully convinced Jen is not only a financial necessity but a socially responsible purchase which will lessen our carbon footprint. Suddenly, financial concerns have invaded our lives and it makes me anxious.
Jen and I have been married for three months now, and most of that time has been during the season of Lent. We have not had to deal with money issues, the major source of contention in relationships. The number one thing cited as the cause for troubles in relationships and even divorce, money, has not been more than a blip on the radar screen of our marriage. And suddenly, a week shy of Easter, money concerns rear their ugly heads. It makes me nervous.
It’s not that I believe Jen and I have cause to be overly concerned about money, it’s that in less than a week she and I will add a whole new element to our marriage. And with that new element comes a whole new set of questions. How much do we allow for luxuries? Obviously, we need to talk about major purchases, but what constitutes a major purchase? How often do we need to reassess our spending habits?
I know that most of this stuff will work itself out. It may lead to a few arguments, though I doubt it. I guess what continues to gnaw at me is not the worries about money, it is still the same fundamental question that prompted this Lenten resolution, the same thing that made Jen and I want to try not purchasing anything other than necessities… how much do we really need?
If the past forty days have been any indication, the answer is not a whole lot.
Several weeks ago I had the idea to prepare a meditation guided by the abundant Christian symbolism found within the sanctuary here at First, Fort Worth. There are Christian symbols in just about every nook and cranny within the sanctuary. Symbols are etched into the design of the intricately carved pulpit, they are cross-stitched into the kneeling pads along the altar rail, they are painted on the walls and on the ceiling, even the door handles are molded from a Christian symbol called the quatrefoil (the symbol of the four evangelist). Originally, my hope was that the symbols would lay out in such a way, or could be manipulated in such a way, as to convey the story of Holy week. This was not the case and there are really too many symbols to do a meaningful meditation, so I’ve resorted to plan b, a meditation based on scripture. However, in researching the symbols (many of which I had never seen before) I came across this website which I thought I would share. It is by far the most comprehensive website I have found on Christian symbols and I will be using it for my new project, a pamphlet of the Christian symbols found in the sanctuary of First United Methodist Church, Fort Worth which will be available in the Welcome Center.
It is nearly 4pm and I’m starting to fade… so really this day is no different than any other day. I have been humming “New Soul” by Yael Naim (better known as the song from the Mac Book Air commercial) in my head all day long. And yes, without fail I picture that thin little laptop sliding out of that manila corporate inter-office mail envelop and opening up to reveal the Apple logo. It just goes to show you what an effective marketing tool it is to link good “indy” music with a corporate product. Apple has been the best at doing this for a couple of years now, but Kia seems to be making a mark for itself as well. I absolutely love the new Kia Spectra ad with “Can’t Get it Right Today” by Joe Purdy. It’s a win-win. The artist attracts a new audience of listeners and the corporation brands the artist’s song with their product so you can’t hear the song without thinking about the Air, or the Kia. All the same, I’m probably going to buy Yael Naim’s album as soon as Easter arrives. Wouldn’t mind the Air either.
I took today off work. Really I just worked from home. The internet and my cell phone allowed me to work without ever stepping foot in the office. Oh the wonders of modern technology. So rather than rest, I worked. I did take a nap at 2pm which was nice. I do wonder though, have I slowed down my recovery and delayed returning to work in the effort to stay on top of it?
Saturday morning I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. By Sunday afternoon it had become a full out case of bronchitis. This morning I felt so bad that on Jen’s advice I went to the doctor. This is an unheard of action on my part. In the past, I’ve figured that you just have to tough out a cold. This is apparently not the case as the doctor gave me a shot, prescribed an antibiotic and told me to buy Mucinex D. He believes I should be feeling better by the morning. Total cost, $30 for the doctors visit, $60 for the medication and probably an additional charge for the shot which will come next week in the mail. I am fortunate. My health insurance is good, I work at a place that has compensated sick days (though today is my day off), and I have enough money to afford to go to the doctor and buy medicine. However, for someone who is not as fortunate as I am, this could be devastating. More than likely they couldn’t afford to go to the doctor because they can’t afford the health insurance, they couldn’t afford the prescriptions that would help them get better so they prolong their illness, and they couldn’t afford to take the time off so they either lose a weeks wages or they may face losing their job. A bad cold for me means I spend a few days feeling lousy, a bad cold for the working poor could mean finding a new job.
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